$$ Miracles

I never see God’s miracles more clearly in my life than when it comes to money. The bank account that SHOULD be overdrawn and isn’t. (Not that it’s NEVER overdrawn, but sometimes a check will come in right after a deposit is made). Money showing up from an unexpected source at just the right moment. And I’ve seen this for years and years. The issues and problems I have are my own lack of skill and responsibility. Nothing I blame on God.
So a few years back, we refinanced and got a 5 year balloon note on our mortgage. I had no idea when that 5 years was up, but I knew that at the end of the 5 years you have 2 options: Refinance or pay off the balloon.
Obviously, I can’t pay off a balloon note on a house. Refinance. That would be difficult with my credit and it would also probably involve my ex, since the bank doesn’t know we’re divorced. (My counselor advised against telling them and I agreed)
My sponsor has been on me to call the bank and get the date and find out options. I have been paralyzed with fear. If I don’t call, then I don’t get bad news. If I don’t ask, then I can blissfully close my eyes to reality for just another day or two.
Now, when reality blows up in my face what will happen? Well of course I’ll be wishing to God that I had taken the necessary steps and prevented all this pain. But I don’t think of the consequences where money is concerned.
So my sponsor said she was going to back off nagging me (in a loving way) about calling but then yesterday she rescinded that commitment and began nagging again. (Sponsor’s rights seems to be her argument!)

So today I opened up an envelope and realized that in 6 months, I’ll have $1xx.00 extra dollars in my budget every month because I will have finally paid off a big hunk of debt I’ve been paying down. That was really nice to know and made me so happy, I called my bank.
Balloon note is due in give or take in a year and I have more options than I thought and none of them include refinancing, none of them include an application, none of them include exorbitant fees, none include a credit check, my guess is that if they include my ex, it’ll just be signing papers which he’ll do.
If I take this option now, I’m essentially signing up for another 5 year balloon, which they’ll do automatically so long as I pay a pretty good sized fee, but I am locking in a lower interest rate.
If I wait until the balloon is due, I can STILL lock another 5 years and I am paying a much much lower fee, but I have no guarantees of what the interest rate will be.
The main fly in my ointment is that my mortgage has to be up to date and current. The problem is that it isn’t. I pay, every month, on the last day. So the mortgage is 29 days past due every month and I am paying roughly $x0.00 in late fees each month.
My sponsor keeps pointing out that the late fees add up to $xx0.00 per year, which I know. But I basically have to come up with a double payment to get caught up and it seems impossible.
For the last 2-3 years I’ve heard how low housing interest rates were, it seems even when the rest of the economy has gone bust. Even my x% doesn’t seem so high. But I am determined now to not just redo the balloon (and it is nice knowing I can do it for less than $x0.00 next year if worse come to worse) but I also want to get out from under the late fees. I need a plan that I can follow.
If I’ve learned nothing else in my 12 Step Program, it’s that Action is required. I tend to revel in the miracles I’m given and then throw them away.
Do I want financial security?
Do I want to provide a stable environment for my child?
Do I want saving?
Do I want retirement? (This is iffy…I have always planned on working until I keep over but I may get sick when I’m older and not die) making the more relevant question…
Do I want to be a burden to my child when I am older?Do I want a cushion for emergencies?
Do I want to stop paying what amounts to thousands of dollars in late fees every year?
Do I want to change?Yes I do. Of course it’s scary but most change is. And nothing will change without my action.